i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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