You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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