I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
never play flip cup with pint glasses
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
