I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
