I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i love accidental penises.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
