Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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