She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
