turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
