I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
