Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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