I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
