Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
