Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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