You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
