Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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