I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
