You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
