Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
