I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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