It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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