I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
