I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize