she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
