I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Where is the hickey?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
