none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
