Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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