Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
