I need to stop coming to work sober
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
