also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize