You work out of a Hotel?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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