Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
