we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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