So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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