So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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