I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
There's even glitter on my cock...
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