Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
if only i could text you this smell
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
