im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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