I smell stomach acid.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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