Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
