Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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