Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
