I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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