Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
