dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
