I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
