Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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