Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
porn star boner night. come get it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
