I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
