About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
