This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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