I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
