Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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