a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize