you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
