Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize