and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
