it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
