Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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